Special DeliveryIt’s one of the most clichéd stories in porn – a delivery driver gets to fuck stunning woman. How many of those are true? Not many. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxMost people look forward to Fridays but I hate them. Offices and lawyers want documents delivered early. Shops want their stock, ordered on Thursday for their weekend trade – here’s a suggestion, order on fucking Monday! And residential customers want their dress, phone, Blu-ray player, Xbox etc for the weekend. Yeah, I fucking hate Fridays.I left the Croydon DPD depot at just after 8am with 162 parcels to be delivered to 109 London addresses. As usual, the traffic was dire. By 4 pm, I still had seven deliveries to make. The next one was a cellphone exchange at a third-floor apartment.As an ‘Owner Driver’ I was paid a flat rate per delivery and ‘Swapits’ as they were known paid double. I still fucking hated them though. The plastic courier bag contained the new phone without sim card and a return bag for the knackered phone. The problem was:A. The customer was rarely in.orB. The customer had completely forgotten you were coming.orC. They had no idea how to save their data or remove the SIM card.Miss Tanya Coniston of Flat 3, 21 Manor Grove, managed both B and C. She opened the door in a sports bra and tight shorts, took one look at the embroidered DPD logo on my red polo shirt and said, “Fuck!”Here we go, I thought.She squealed, turned, ran inside, turned, ran back and said, “Fuck…, yes…, of course…, give me one minute…, it’s fucking here somewhere…, you’d better come in.”As she tore around the lounge lifting cushions and magazines she said, “Fuck…, perhaps you could ring it?””Isn’t it faulty?” I said.”Fuck…, yes of course.”My god, she was hot! Long athletic legs, a tight ass, firm waist, A-Cup tits, gorgeous oval face and long black hair in a ponytail to her waist. “Listen, I’m sorry miss but I’ve got another six…””Here it is,” she said, holding it out.”Have you saved your data?””What?””Your data – contacts, photos, videos. Or is it all saved to a cloud?””I don’t fucking know! My cheating ex dealt with all that. Bastard.”I turned the phone on and had a look. Fuck. “You’ve got more data on the phone than space on the micro SD card. You’ll need to save it all to a cloud or laptop, then copy it to the new phone. If you could sign here to certify that I attempted the swop [then I got paid], then you’ll need to contact your phone company to rearrange the swop.””No, no,” she cried, close to tears, “I’m off to Milan tomorrow. I’m an interior design consultant and my entire business is on that phone. Please…, can you help?”Should’ve backed it up then love, I wanted to say but instead said, “I’m sorry miss but I’m not allowed and I don’t have the time.”She burst into tears. Fuck. “Please!” she begged between sobs, “I don’t even have…, the address of the Milan client…, it’s all on the phone.”Shit. I’ve always been a soft touch for a crying woman. “Please,” she cried again, “I’ll do anything, absolutely anything.”Interesting.With a sigh, I said, “Have you got a laptop?””Through here, in the bedroom.” The laptop was on a side table. Sitting on the bed it took me a minute or two to set up the transfer.”Okay,” I said. “It’ll take about thirty minutes. While it’s doing that, I’m going to finish my deliveries. Don’t touch it or you could lose all the data. I’ll be back in half an hour or so and copy it to the new phone. When I got back she’d changed into tight jeans and a yellow vest top. I checked that the transfer was complete, swopped the phones over and began bahis firmaları the upload. “You do realise that I could lose my job for doing this don’t you?” I said.She nodded, “Yes, I’m very grateful.””How grateful?””I’m sorry?””You said you’d do anything.””Yes but…””But what?” I walked back to the phone and gripped the transfer cable. “If I pull this out it will corrupt the data flow.””NO!” she cried, “W…, what do you want?””You. Two hours in that bed.””What?” she said, “You expect me to fuck you?”I dangled the phone by its wire. “NO!” she squealed, “Okay, okay. You’re a real bastard aren’t you?””Uh-huh,” I said, “A real bastard with an eight-inch cock who likes fucking and blow-jobs. Now take your clothes off and lay on the bed.”I’m a small tit man. Heaven to me is tiny, almost c***d-like firm little bumps. Hers were perfect and slightly pointy with small nipples. Her cunt, being neatly waxed matched her tits in c***dlike appearance. She watched, frowning, as I took off my uniform and tossed it on the foot of the bed.I don’t work out or diet, I don’t need to. Non-stop twelve-hour days lugging boxes of copier paper to upstairs offices and pushing hand carts of shop stock uphill kept me trim and muscular. Plus of course, every box and parcel that I took out of my van had been out in there by me early in the morning.She stared as I stripped and stroked my cock to full erection. Her resistance seemed to be replaced with curiosity but she tried her best to look disinterested. “Let’s get this over with then, I need to get on.””Two hours was the deal. I practice tantric sex. You’re going to get the full two hours from me.”I could see that sparked her curiosity. She bit her lip and looked at my hard cock again. “Well Tanya, I’m Andy and I’m guessing that your sweet cunt hasn’t gripped a cock for some time. From the state of the room- I can hardly see the carpet – you’ve obviously not had a visitor in here for some time and only one side of the bed has been slept in.” Climbing onto the bed I added, “In two hours I can make my girlfriend cum eight or ten times. My record is eighteen orgasms in five hours. I could make a fortune as a gigolo and you’re going to get it for free.””You expect me to be fucking grateful?”I smiled. “No, but it’s going to happen so you might as well enjoy it. View it as a business deal. A two-hour investment to save your business. Have you got any lube?”She gave a derisory laugh and said, almost sneering, “So the great lover is incapable of making a girl wet?””Oh yeah,” I grinned “But I’ll need it for when I fuck you in the ass.””In your fucking dreams,” she snarled.Ignoring her I said, “But for now we’ll start off with me laying here and you sucking my cock.”Reluctantly but realising she had little choice, she edged down the bed saying, “This probably counts as **** you know.”I chuckled, “****, no, I doubt if it’s even blackmail. Coercion maybe but I’m not sure if that’s a crime. Morally maybe but I’ve always had pretty low morals.”Resigned to her fate she wrapped her fingers around my cock and began to pump it furiously which made me laugh. “What’s so funny?” she said looking up.”Your pathetic attempt to make me cum quickly. It won’t work you know, I’ll decide when I’m going to cum and trust me, it’s a long way off.”With a sigh, she dipped down and slipped her lips over my head. For a while I just watched her. Initially, she stuck to licking and sucking my head but then something seemed to click inside her head. Her hand moved to my balls and she started to slide more and more of my hard shaft past her lips. I said, “Keep doing that but swing around and kaçak iddaa kneel up here by me.”That was better. With her kneeling next to my chest I could admire her super sexy ass. I know that this is going to sound big-headed but I’ve got an impressive cock. Eight inches long, thick and with a bulbous flared head. All women like sucking it. In fact, I’ve had some women get so into it that they’ve cum simply from sucking. One woman, Annie, even bought a kit from an online sex shop and made a cast of it so she could have my cock as a dildo.Anyway, I digress. I ran my right hand up her leg and over her smooth tight ass then edged the tips of my fingers down her ass crack. This seemed to inspire her to suck harder and play with my balls. Was that a little moan I heard? I brushed gently against her pussy lips but teasingly didn’t take it any further. At first, I thought I’d imagined it but no, she was twisting her hips slightly. I rewarded her by tracing the tip of my middle finger up across her asshole and back down. Oh yeah, definitely a moan.I paused at her lips again, putting the ball in her court. There are various signs that a woman is turned on – her breathing, moaning, looking flushed, erect nipples, vaginal secretions, clenching of her cunt muscles but in Tanya’s case I didn’t need to look for subtle signs. She simply opened her legs and worked her cunt on my fingers. Almost instantly my fingers were coated in her slippery honey.I have a confession to make – I’m addicted to the taste of a woman. It is, without doubt, the most varied and erotic taste in nature. In fact, I’ll often forgo a fuck and simply suck and lick a woman until she’s cum so many times that she’s incapable of any further sexual activity. For me, turning a woman from a sensible, coherent human into a totally spent, limp, rag doll is one of life’s greatest and most rewarding achievements. I HAD to taste her.Quickly, I pulled her leg across me and clamped my mouth onto her cunt. Mmmmm…., beautifully sweet and musky with a hint of almonds. She let out a long moan and pressed downwards.Allow me to digress again. I’ve increasingly reached the conclusion that most people are shit at sex. That’s a strange thing to say, I know, in this age of free porn for all but let me explain. Up until the sexual revolution of the late 60s and early 70s, most people blundered on in happy ignorance. The average person had no idea that anal sex was even possible and viewed oral sex, if they were aware of it, as being the realm of prostitutes. Although there were books on sex, they were largely academic studies unavailable to the masses. Then along came ‘The Joy of Sex’ published in 1972 by British author Alex Comfort. It got around the pornography laws by using line drawings instead of photographs. Suddenly, the world of sex expanded and sucking cocks and clits became mainstream. Yes, porn films were available but were confined, especially here in the UK due to porn laws, to private members cinemas and were associated with men in dirty raincoats.So we went from ignorance to accomplished in a few short years. Now, of course, we have the internet and a seemingly inexhaustible supply of 24-hour free porn. Logic would say that we should be even better at sex but in fact, the reverse is true. We’ve regressed. Why? Because the vast majority of porn is dire and teaches us nothing. Imagine you’re a spotty sixteen-year-old browsing XHamster late at night. What will you learn?1. All men have eight-inch cocks.2. Women only fuck in high heels.3. Women only cum when machine gun fucked for a long time.4. Women pout and shout, “Oh ya, ya,” kaçak bahis when they cum.5. All blow jobs end with the guy wanking into the woman’s mouth.6. Anyone sucking a cock or cunt has to lean their head to one side.7. Women with long hair always pull it behind their neck when sucking cock.8. All women love being fucked up the ass.9. All men want to fuck their mother/sister. etc…, etc…All of which, of course, is complete and utter bollocks. So, far from learning about sex, our pubescent teenager is completely misled. We’re back to where we were pre-60s – ignorant about sex.But worst of all is the complete misnomer about 69ing. Up the pub, with my mates, the conversation, after a good few pints, often turns to sex. Over the years, most of them have admitted to losing their erection on more than one occasion when 69ing. The net result is a wife/girlfriend who loses confidence and instantly thinks that she’s doing something wrong and a guy who’s confused. Over time, they stop 69ing. But let’s analyse what’s going on.Ignoring the selfish fuckwits, most people want to please their partners. Myself, I get more satisfaction from making a woman cum than from cumming myself. I like to concentrate on what I’m doing. Making a woman cum is a skill that takes practice, it doesn’t happen by chance. The same with a woman on a man. So if I’m 69ing, maybe 75% of my attention is focussed on what I’m doing to the woman. And the same is true of the woman when she’s sucking the guy’s cock. She’s aware of the man’s tongue, lips and fingers but concentrates on what she’s doing. It’s difficult to enjoy sensations when 75% percent of the brain is occupied elsewhere.In my time I’ve 69’d with maybe 25 – 30 women and they’ve all got it wrong. I blame online porn again. In reality, 69ing isn’t about mutual simultaneous stimulation at all. It’s alternate stimulation. Participants should take it in turns. I learned that from a middle-aged friend of my mother when I was s*******n. One goes, then the other. That means 100% concentration on receiving followed by 100% on giving. Thankfully, Tanya knew this.Within seconds of my tongue lapping up her honey, she rested her head on my thigh and just held my cock in her hand. Alternating over the next half an hour, she came four times. I usually reckon that by the time a woman cums for the third time she’s mine. But just to cover myself I managed to reach my shorts and extract my cellphone. I’ve got a good ten minutes of video of her enthusiastically sucking my cock and begging me to let her cum again. The clincher that made me safe from legal action was footage of her begging, “Please Andy, fuck me, fuck me with that beautiful cock.”God, did we fuck! Missionary, doggy, cowgirl and up against the bathroom wall. Not once did I machine-gun fuck her though. I’ve rarely come across a woman who likes that. Men don’t talk enough to women. If they did they would discover that most women like to be fucked slowly. They tell me that what they like most is to grip a cock as it slides in and out. They want to feel filled and stretched. After her fifth orgasm, she breathlessly told me that I was her best ever fuck. Still, she kept cumming. Finally, using the lube she pulled out of a drawer, she laid back on me reverse cowgirl. I fucked her ass whilst reaching around and strumming her clit. Her eleventh orgasm was her biggest. That, combined with the sensation of my cum flooding her ass made her pass out.I’d lied to Tanya. I don’t have a girlfriend. Preferring variety, I have six. It was seven until Deborah moved to Belfast last week. Tanya would fill the vacancy nicely. All were aware of and accepted the existence of the others. When I told Tanya she simply said, “I don’t care about them, I just need you.” The other six are equally split between married and single. Tanya would become my Friday fuck.



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