This is a story about a young man exploring his sexuality and finding out he is a gay submissive. It is rather long and not all about sex so if you are looking for a quickie you might want to look elsewhere. This is a fantasy. All characters are over the age of 18. Please enjoy.


I was a quiet boy ever since the beginning, small and overly sensitive in a hectic world. Other people were certainly not my specialty. At home more with a good book or just daydreaming in my room than clowning around with my buddies. What bothered me so much about it really wasn’t that it was a problem for me, but that it seemingly was a problem for everyone else. Awkwardly trying to fit in, I would always miss a step. The witty thing on the tip of my tongue would, invariably, be silenced by an internal monologue about whether it was going to be cool enough, or if it would make me look stupid, and by the time it got out it was way past the right time for it and I would sound stupid.

Needless to say I wasn’t very good around girls. Other guys could just walk up to them and talk and laugh around, but it just didn’t work that way for me. I was a scrawny kid anyways, shortest one in my class and paper-thin. Pile on my general shyness and I just didn’t even bother.

My sexual feelings usually just built up during the day and when I got home I would maybe look at a porno mag and play with myself or look up girls in the yearbook. I would pick a girl at random and pretend I was doing playing with their breasts or eating them out. It was always something like that I would be doing something to pleasure them, not like getting on top and riding them or anything. Usually what got me the most excited was when I would think about them taking my cock in their mouth and I would imagine their pretty faces looking up at me and I would cum all over and be ok for a while.

This was the pattern for most of my years in school and I really thought that I was fine with it, but then I went off to college.

Being from a small town the University overwhelmed the senses. There were hordes of people everywhere, making so much noise. The dorms themselves were just floor after floor of students piled up like a huge stack of donuts. The elevators were packed, the lines at the cafeteria were long, the classrooms held over a hundred kids. It was almost hard to imagine taking a test and not cheating. How in the hell could the professor see anyone anyways?

I fell into a routine like a good little boy going to my classes and just generally trying to avoid everyone, but in such a mass of humanity I just simply was not allowed to be a recluse.

My first roommate was the son of a criminal. Literally that was the first thing out of his mouth when I saw him. He wasn’t threatening me or anything I guess it was just on his mind. I guess there was this racket where his father would get loads of copper misplaced or something and then sell them off. You could tell that Greg, that was my roomies name, was pretty proud of his dad and was likely to follow in his footsteps. I had asked him one time later that if he was going to be a criminal anyways, why bother with college and he just kind of shrugged. I can’t tell you much more about him because he was never really around anyways. There would be no Greg for a few days at a time and then one night he would just pop in.

So I pretty much had the place to myself, which suited me fine. The problem was my neighbors simply wouldn’t leave me alone. They were always trying to get me out to parties that were going on around town and I rebuffed them over and over. One night near the end of the first semester, I caved and went with them. I simply have no backbone.

The guys next door were pledging a fraternity. I had seen the flyers for rush the first week or so that I was on campus, but true to my nature I was too uncomfortable about going up to see what it was all about. My only real knowledge of fraternities was from watching Animal House and the truth really wasn’t a whole lot different.

Before that night I had drank a little here or there, but nothing like I learned to at this place. There was a line out front just to go into it. We had to pay a couple bucks to get into and then off to the beer line. Girls were everywhere bouncing around and making all kind of noise. Just past the bar was the rather small area that was the dance floor, packed with drunken sweaty, free spirits looking for love or just a little action.

It was my first sip of beer in a long time and it tasted so good to me that I downed it quickly and headed back for a second and then a third. There was a little corner that I had camped out in that was relatively quiet. A peace had come over me with my buzz and I found myself watching people as I never had before. Where I would ordinarily be nervous and upset I was calm. This doesn’t mean that I actually went out and socialized anymore right away, but I felt more comfortable than I could remember in a long time.

After the third things got kind of güvenilir bahis hazy for me and I slipped into the fuzzy world of the blackout drunk. My tolerance was so low that it had only taken me those few to lose control. There was definitely a conversation with some girl and her friend and some time out on the dance floor even, but most of it was a blur.

I slipped out of sleep, my head aching dully. I still felt sort of drunk and couldn’t tell what time it was just that it was dark. The thought that I should look around me to catch my bearings occurred to me, but actually moving wasn’t on the plate just yet. I lay there with my eyes shut, resting. The cushions seemed to swallow me up and smelled somewhat of stale beer, although that could have been me as well. There was just a general dullness about me. To be so lazy was so good and I contemplated dozing back off to sleep. Visions of the night before flashed from time to time in my head, but there was no rhyme or reason to them. It was more like someone showing you flash cards in a random order.

After five, maybe fifteen, minutes passed I started to feel like I hadn’t really partied enough that night since I couldn’t remember it all that much anyways. I didn’t know exactly where I was in the house, but I was pretty sure that I was still up there. More than likely I had passed out from taking it too fast and they put me here.

Sitting upright disoriented me and I let my eyes get used to the darkness of the room. Rectangles of light painted the floor just past the open doorway. It was a broad opening that could have housed a large set of double doors. Another person lay sleeping on the couch across from me and I recognized a table where the night before we had left our coats.

The bar was jus around the corner in the other room so I figured I would just go grab a quick one to kind of take the edge of the drumbeat in my head. I hadn’t heard of hair of the dog really, but I was about to get my first taste of it.

Past the large opening there was a hall to the left that led to the entrance. On the right was the general living area that had a pool table and a few couches. The lights were dim in this room and the television flickered, but there was no sound. Possibly some people were still up, but I didn’t bother with that, heading straight ahead to get some more alcohol in me. The large curved wooden bar was more like one would find in the taverns down on the Strip with huge planks of wood. I helped myself to a cup and poured myself a cold one.

The house was very still as I scanned it more carefully. It seemed so much bigger without the mass of people. The snow-covered bushes out the window sparkled under the night lamps. It was very peaceful. I walked past my little corner where I had hid the night before and onto the dance floor, which in turn opened into the living area on the other side.

I slipped into the living area trying to stay as quiet as possible. Even though I felt as if I belonged to the house already, I was aware that I didn’t really live there and was worried someone would notice and kick me out. I figured I could have a few more brews and then walk home in the morning and sleep the rest of the night off.

The television was on some late night music video channel with the sound turned down. I can’t remember the artist now but it was an attractive woman writhing around on the screen. Her motions seemed ever more magical under the spell of intoxication. So enthralled was I that I hadn’t noticed anyone else in the room. The 2 couches against the wall may or may not have had people on them I couldn’t really see, but sitting on the love seat at an angle to the screen, was a guy I had never seen before.

He was obviously a student, was rather tall and I am sure had many other features, but the only thing that I could notice was that he was sitting there with his pants around his ankles. His hand was between his legs where he held his manhood. He stroked it slowly, taking a couple seconds up and then a couple seconds back down again. His cock seemed to glisten in the low light. I found myself wondering whether he used spit like I did which kind of snapped me back to reality.

There I stood watching another man beat off. I hadn’t even seen another guys dick, not really. I mean there were the times in the shower where you couldn’t help but get a peek, and I had seen a few pornos of course, but this was very different. He was having sex with his hand, thinking about the girl wanting her. I felt somehow involved like I was rooting for him.

It wasn’t like I was getting into it all sexual, at least I didn’t think so. Even though I did notice I was rock hard in my pants. It was more my first time experiencing real sex with another person, even if that person didn’t know I was a part of the scene and might want to kick my ass if he knew.

Thinking about me being hard made me look even closer at just his cock and nothing else. It was amazing really, quite a bit larger than mine (I had measured once and it was a little bit of türkçe bahis a stretch to get to 5). It seemed to pulsate with vitality. If he told me too I probably would have grabbed it and stroked it for him. The thought ran through my head and I felt a tinge of shame, because was probably true. The feeling to just run and get out of there burst up in me. Run out before he sensed my presence or perhaps noticing something about myself, but I simply could not turn my eyes away.

I had to see him finish. How could he even orgasm going that slow anyway? I usually stroked it so fast and got to the explosion in a couple minutes. Time was moving very slowly for me and with every stroke my nerves were fraying more and more. I just couldn’t stay. He was going to notice me standing there watching him jerk off. Standing there with a hard on. All the people in my dorm would pick on me and it was just too much. I had to get out. I tiptoed over to the fire door on the dance floor, decided that was too close and went further down to where there was a kitchen door and let myself out as quietly as I could, and headed down the hill to my dorm room.

The streets were deserted as I walked the 10 or so blocks to my place. Birds chirped signaling the coming of dawn, but I hardly noticed. All I could think about was the guy stroking his big sweet cock.

I just thought sweet?

When I closed my eyes I could see nothing but tall erect tool somehow even more defined in my mind than it had been in real life. It looked as if it were breathing when he stroked up to the tip and then pulled slowly down again like the muscles under a snakes skin. When he got to the base of his cock the mushroom head would be stretched to its limits parting the lips that formed the slit. It was so real to me and I was so worked up that I just had to get home and give myself release.

I walked past the sleeping guard and went up the elevator that was empty for once. Greg was away again. I hoped at least. So I should have the place to myself. I was going to get out my old yearbook like before and pick one of my favorite girls and jack off thinking about her sucking my cock. There was a need to purge myself of this passion I was feeling. I was normally a pretty under control guy, levelheaded and practical. The raw feeling going through me was unnerving.

The elevator doors opened into a thankfully empty hallway. I was just not sure I could handle other people right then. My room was right across the hall and I pushed inside as fast as I could, locking it behind me. Greg was gone! Thank God.

I stripped off my clothes and grabbed my yearbook, opening to a page where there were a lot of cheerleader pics. I looked from one girl to another and picked an especially cute blonde girl. In my mind her lips slipped over my cock head, but it wasn’t quite enough.

I kept going back to the feeling I was having on the way home. I closed my eyes and once again I could see his long thin member, hand slowly caressing up and down. My cock returned to rock hard status. I looked back down at the yearbook and saw the girl again smiling at me. It seemed as if she were reading my mind, knowing that I was thinking about the man up the hill stroking his meat.

Then came the thought that changed my life. As I stared at this very beautiful teenage girl that I had lusted after and came many times her voice chimed in my head clear as a bell, “Why don’t you jack him off for me”, and then a little laugh.

Clearly this thought did the trick. The idea that she somehow knew, or that I should be the one stroking him or possibly just the newness of it all, whatever it was my nut came hard, shattering me to the bone. A shot of thick white semen splattered her smiling face wiping it out and I closed my eyes again seeing the man’s healthy penis but this time I was looking down at it in my hand and he too was releasing.

As quick as it all had come over me and like a wound spring the tension was released in those few instants and I sat there kneeling with a mess over my yearbook on the floor of my room. I cleaned up quickly and exhausted fell into bed crashing into a deep sleep.

I awoke that evening to a pounding on my door. It was Chuck, one of the guys next door from the frat. Annoyed, I tried to roll over and enjoy the rest of my hangover but he was insistent.

“Hey man get up,” rap, rap, rap, “Dude you were so drunk. C’mon man we got some pizza get your ass up and come on over. Got some brews too.”

The pizza sounded ok and the beer even better, plus he didn’t sound like he was going to go anywhere until I went over and let him embarrass me with news of my stupid activities of the night before. I was perfectly fine with that as long as he didn’t know the real story.

It all seemed rather distant almost like something I had watched on TV. After I came the needy feelings had quickly washed away from me and it all seemed rather silly. I just put it up to too much beer and maybe I really needed to man up and try to get laid here sometime before I went crazy.

Sitting güvenilir bahis siteleri on the bottom bunk in front of the open pizza box was Dan, the other frat guy.

“Wild man!” he said with a big smile, “Come on in.”

I sat down; grabbing a pizza and a beer as they regaled me with tales of how I was acting like a total idiot on the dance floor wasted out of my mind, but it was ok everyone thought it was funny. I was almost like a mascot for them now and they wanted me to come back up.

“Yeah man,” said Chuck, “You oughta come up and rush after break. We’ll get you laid and shit too. You’re holed up in your damned room too much. Gotta have some fun.”

They said a bunch of other stuff, but I didn’t pay much attention and promised I would be go up and join in the spring but I had finals the next couple weeks and really had to study. I don’t know why, but I just felt I needed to leave the room and be alone again so I excused myself and walked out.

The hallway was crowded with idiots running back and forth as usual. Bollman was playing catch with someone down the hall that I couldn’t make out. He was always talking about porn stars chicks and how he had this big collection of pictures and autographs. He had one of some real famous one sitting on his lap that was signed by here. I think it cost him fifty bucks it was crazy.

I tried to duck him because I had borrowed a book from him a while back and I left it in the Union and hadn’t been able to find it. He asked me about it every time I saw him. Like he ever picked up a book. What did he care anyways, but he always had to ask me

Well, I was almost home free, just opening my door when I heard, “Hey Johnny!”

Yeah, Johnny, That’s me.

“Hey Bollman how’s it going with you.

He didn’t even have to ask I just closed my door and walked over to his room down the hall. Once he got a hold of you he just had to give you the latest rundown. Even if he had told a hundred people before you he never got tired.

I went in his room and sat on the little couch they had in there. There was porn on the end table so I picked one up and started leafing through it. Man, Bollman was a pervert. He had some nice stuff. This was a while back. Before the Internet when most skin mags wouldn’t even show penetration. There was always some guy with his dick pointing at a girl’s mouth and she knelt there, eye fixed on the camera with a vacant stare. This was good though the girl was really sucking it and looking all guilty up at him.

“Hey, that’s a new one, you can borrow it a while if you like it.”

Bollman had kind of stormed in the room. He was always doing that. Anywhere he went he wet there quickly and made a lot of noise to make his presence felt. He started going on about some new chick he had met down at a strip club.

I looked up at him. “Hey man, how did you get into all this anyways? I mean you got so much porn and you go out to these places. What started all that.”

I was kind of trying to keep his mind off the book I owed him, but I was kind of curious myself. The places I went in never had mags like this.

Bollman said, “Oh yeah. There was a bookshop with all these videos and big ass dildos and all kind of weird shit just down the road from us when we were kids, and I figured out how to slip in through the one window in the basement. We would go in and check the stuff out in the mornings when it was closed up. I guess it just kind of stuck with me.”

I nodded, looking back at the girl who was now sitting on top like a cowgirl taking a ride. It was getting kind of strange for me, because it was getting me damn horny again and I didn’t really want to be like that around Bollman. It just felt weird.

“Yeah, they got a lot downtown,” he continued, “Most of them got rooms in the back and stuff. Some like you put in some money and a curtain goes up and you see some chick dance naked. You can spank it and everything they don’t care.”

A mental image of Bollman spanking it to an old fat lady in a little cubicle was not really what I needed either but he kept going.

“They got some with other booths like where you can see just can see porn reels and stuff. You go in them though you usually end up having some fag try to suck your cock.”

“That’s crazy.” I said, getting up. I kind of had to use the old schoolboy trick and keep the magazine in front of my groin so it wouldn’t be obvious. Bollman was nice and pretended not to notice.

“Hey man I lost you book by the way. Sorry”, I ducked out quickly.

“Don’t lose that one,” he shouted after me, “have fun!”

I slipped back in my room and bolted the door. It seemed kind of soon to jack off so soon after having that weird conversation with Bollman, but what the hell I was horny. I would cum quick and crash early to be ready for the week.

I stripped down naked and knelt like I had the night before, but instead of the yearbook this time I had the porno. I flipped back past the pages I had seen before and landed on this rocker girl. Clad in leather and posed she glared at the camera as if she was the boss, but when I turned the page the next frame she was looking down and holding some man’s very healthy meat. She was biting her lip with a more timid demeanor.



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